Commie Girlfriend

"I dance at a topless club," Tom's girlfriend said copacetically
"excuse me while I step on your face
you coming on to me, Myrtle?

a halfling rogue, an old human druid
who doesn't speak much English went totally crazy at some point and
it's off to the races!
anything his hand touches is smeared
he was talking to his MOTHER in Iraq, not his drug dealer
he lives in freaking France for crissakes
he and his girlfriend love to rattle off foolish crap
"men are all pigs"
"guns should be banned from the world"
"I hate computer games"
it gives me the shivers, like it is a bunch of yakking

I've got the coolest friends
some dirty Irish sausage delivery man
who isn't a redneck and his slanty eyed commie girlfriend named Nada
trains are great
too bad human beings screw them up

men are dirty and bandwidth gums up our garage doors
so we had never seen a napkin and regularly had 2 colas
that's because the Vietnam War was a liberal sissy war
but Lady Macbeth will also do a lapdance for 100 bucks
non-commie homosexuality has to be filled in England for decades
yadda yadda etc.

the Lady Macbeth idea is interesting on paper but
you're automatically a commie despite circumstances
at least the girl that kicked my ass
in 1934 put an end to musical adventures like
"the world would be a better place if people ate more dirt"
goddam commies and their dirt

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