I'm Nobody. How Are You?

I'm nobody. How are you?
I hope your day is going well.
Is your last name or first name
Jonas like the Jonas brothers?

You're nobody. How are you
Going to get market share?
Outsourcing doesn't have this problem.
“I don't go with nobody”

Whatz up bro u dont call nobody how are you
God bless u cal me please
I have your invatation in my house
4 my daughter party april 25 cal me

I love the TM after your name!
I live to stand out bcuz "If your
Not somebody, your nobody and if your
A nobody, how are you anybody"

If you don't tell nobody how are you
Going to get hits
You have to tell people
Your website and they might like it

I know Mom told you
That you're about to be
An uncle ... mad shit.
[Full text of Bambi]

"We are clarifying"

we are clarifying
by our various
pointings the use

of the words
is square but
neither is an

object squareness supposed
as object pointed
to nor need

it be supposed
available as reference
of the word

square no more
need be demanded
in explication of

is square or
any other phrase
than that our

listener learn when
to expect us
to apply it

to an object
and when not
there is no

need for the
phrase itself to
be a name

in turn of
a separate object
of any kind


[Two consecutive sentences from Willard Van Orman Quine's From a Logical Point of View: Nine Logico-Philosophical Essays (Harvard UP, 1953), minus all punctuation and capitalization.]

Trying Hard

Here's the thing. I'm trying really really hard to be a better person. Unfortunately, my attempts to be a good person are often foiled by my love. I'm trying really really hard to not get my hopes up about her. But it's hard. I'm trying to be supportive. I'm having a really hard time though.

Things are weird between us and everything seems fake even though I'm trying really hard. I laugh a lot, and keep up the banter. I'm trying really really hard to stay calm and reasonable and not to lose my temper. None of it is getting across.

I'm trying really hard to break this habit, because it doesn't do her any good and is terrible for me. And I'm trying hard, but one time I just tried to give up and let it go but it was so hard so I'm still crushing on her. I'm trying really really hard. I'm concentrating on my shoes, the logo on some guy's shirt, a billboard advertising English lessons.

And then I'm sad about being such an awful person. And I'm trying really really hard to not go and eat what's left over straight from the bowl.

I'm trying really really hard not to panic, and mostly succeeding. Mostly. If I see a nice doctor this morning, I'll ask them to prod me. Oh, and my safe words are borrowed from traffic light signals.

I'm trying really really hard to just live in the today of my life and yet dream about my tomorrows. I'm actually thinking about my dreams now. No, not really.

I'm trying really really hard to keep it under control today. BECAUSE TOMORROW I'M GOING TO LOOK AT WHEELS! Oops, that slipped.

I'm trying really really hard, but it's no good, it seems impossible. I keep slipping back down. I'm young and sexy and trendy and I'm trying really really hard. It comes off as desperation, which is the most un-sexy.

I guess I have just lost my way and I'm trying hard to find it again! Just not sure if I can. I hope to get at least a B. I'm trying really really hard.

I'm trying really hard. But soy milk in coffee (and I've tried rice milk too) is one of the worst things I've ever tasted. Urgh yuck shudder. I run a news group on conjoined twins and I'm trying really really hard not to.

I'm trying really hard to hold it together today. I'm trying really really hard not to call this EP a fantastic example of the synthtastic-rock New Rave sound that's sweeping the globe.

As it stands now, if all of us were at a party, I'd be the guy who empties the trash cans. For example, I'm trying really really hard to draw, because I feel like my drawings are really awful. I feel so ashamed of them. I showed this picture to Robot Johnny.

This is so weird. I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is, then I'm out of place. I'm trying really really hard here. I'm trying really really hard not to give up but gosh, it should be getting at least a little better, right? What can I do or what should I do?

I'm trying really really hard to not self-mutilate. I can't say it won't happen again.

I'm trying really really hard to read Lord Foul's Bane (book one of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever). I am very suprised at how hard it is for me.

I'm trying really really hard not to let fruits and vegetables rot. And I really care. Somebody hug me.

I'm trying really really hard as I ski through the village of Davos, Switzerland to offer some quality coaching to a few US athletes. And I'm trying really really hard not to buy the new Ben & Jerry's "Chocolate Therapy."

In other news, I'm trying really really hard to avoid Robin Hood.

I'm trying really really hard to eliminate the F-Bomb from my everyday speech.

I'm trying really really hard not to have this turn into yet another blog obsessed with Japanese anime.

I'm trying really really hard not to use the word "ambience" here, but I'm struggling. Look, I'm trying really really hard to smile.

And yeah, I've pretty much done the academic suicide every year, and now I'm screwed, but I'm trying really really hard not to do it again this year.

I'm trying really really hard to not get discouraged. I'm trying really hard not to spill on myself. I'm trying not to slobber all over my screen. I'm trying to love this lens but I think I can only like it a lot. It's a great looking lens. Comes with a petal hood.

I'm sorry, alright? I'm trying really really hard to keep it together, stay positive and so on, but it ain't working. I'm trying really really hard at this, people. I am bundling up the baby and going to the coffee shop.

I'm trying really really hard not to go crazy tonight! Shut up stupid brain! I'm trying really hard to focus on not personalizing stuff. It's difficult to do.

I'm trying really really hard to not participate in stash enhancement and not to buy knitting books. It's not working well.

I'm trying really really hard to imagine a world in which someone could not have any idea about the history of blackface.

I'm trying really hard to think up a "get stoned in college" joke, but it's just not happening. I'm trying really really hard not to use the phrase "get something off my chest" right now. The thing is, I am a large-breasted woman.

Man, I'm trying really hard not to say what I really want to say right now. Oh I'm trying. I know I'm being tested and I'm trying not to freak out but if you seem to remember me behaving at all strangely toward you, it's because I'm trying really really hard to implant myself into your jerkoff fantasies.

My new thing is "no solid plans except Jesus." See, the thing is I'm a planner. I'm trying really really hard. Must it be a tug of war? Forgive me. I feel terrible.

I'm trying really really hard to stay off the J.Crew website but it's just calling me to come browse.

I'm trying hard to play it cool. I'm trying really really hard. I was wearing this prisoner face, so deep inside she had to know I'm feeling lost. I'm trying really hard to not even bother writing about this.

Seriously, enough of Anne, and on to her minions (not minyans). It's not their fault they are freaky little bloodsucking monsters.

I'm trying really really hard to see these guys as equals with different needs, sending water shooting in a huge stream onto my neighbor's car, and I'm trying really hard not to get angry, but I need a goofy song. I'm trying to believe that these are just isolated nutjobs who don't represent the Democratic party base. I really am. But that's my opinion, and it's really up to her, so I'm trying really really hard to shut up and not say anything. It's awfully nice here, though.

Okay here's another comment where I'm trying really really hard to be flattering: she has a really high forehead. Make of that what you wish.

I've got a new haircut. And boy, it rocks big time [slideshow of me with longer hair].

I'm trying really really hard to just think happy thoughts. There is a Full RSS feed. So, I'm trying really really hard to control myself. It is pretty difficult, but I'm trying. Really really hard.

Hold up, I'm trying really really hard to think of anything I would buy on Shore Drive, north of Northhampton Blvd. I'm Pakistani, so I wasn't taught the right way.

I'm trying really really hard to come up with a decision Bush has made that has benefitted America. Either that or I'm trying really really hard to get fired.

Anyway, right now I'm trying really hard to forget about her since I won't be seeing her anymore. I've graduated from high school. I am exhausted at the end of the day from all of our playing.

I'm trying really hard not to scream. I'm trying really really hard not to talk about my laptop. OK, I failed.

I can picture the socks in my head, and imagine myself wearing them. I'm trying really hard not to freak out, but it's not working so well. I told her I would accept her answers and I'm trying really really hard. God! I'm really trying! Do you think I'm merely suppressing things?

I'm trying really really hard not to smile. But I'm imagining a suburban family being terrorized by roving bands of wealthy Quakers.

I'm trying really hard to decrease my carbon footprint. I'm trying hard to get over myself. I'm trying really really hard not to type in ALL CAPS.

Today I'm trying really really hard not to strangle people. I'm beyond fed up. I want something to look forward to for the rest of the week!

So that's why, smartie-pants, we have our laundry situation. I'm trying really really hard not to make any shake and bake jokes. I'm trying really hard to like daylilies, but it just hasn't happened for me yet. I might posssiblyyy go to Australia!

You know I have to really bite my e-tongue about this woman who thinks that autism is a contractable disease. Ahem. I'm trying really really hard, but now more than ever I feel as if I'm sending her off to seek her fortune with all her worldly goods done up.

I'm a bit of an emotional coward, but I'm trying really really hard not to be. And the very act of trying to accomplish this is something I'm proud of. I'm trying really hard to be in the moment. It's almost impossible. It's like our brains aren't designed for it. Hey, maybe that's even true.

I'm trying really really hard to care. More Miss USA contestant kissing, fellatio. Good stuff. But, whatever.

I'm trying really really hard to avoid saying, "you don't know until you experience it," but at the end of the day, that's all I can say. Don't doubt my venom on this score, I'm going to come back to that.

Why do some people gain weight during Ramadan? There are apparently complimentary Danishes. Mmm.

I'm trying really hard to live in the present. I'm trying really really hard not to giggle out loud. My neighbors think I'm strange enough as it is.

I'm trying really really hard but smiling is just simply impossible now.

I'm trying really really hard to come up with an analogy that avoids a "deck chairs on the Titanic" feel, but it's one of those things that's tough to do. Look, I'm trying really hard not to think this analogy through to its logical conclusion.

When snow is predicted down here (here being Philadelphia), there is a rush to the grocery store for milk.

I'm not making that much eye contact but I'm trying really REALLY hard to drive this motherfucker home. Just know that if I'm looking you in the eye, it means I'm trying really really hard to do so. What's new, pussycat, whooaa whoaa whoaa!

I'm trying really really hard to think of a recent film that has scenes that "glamorize" smoking. Okay, so I'm trying really really hard not to freak out. In a good way.

I have a box of laxatives here but I'm trying really really hard to ignore them. We'll see.

Well, it is happening ... again. and I'm trying really really hard to not be like that again. Arghh.... Wish that thing of mine goes away ... it's not healthy.

I want to get better, I'm trying really really hard. I feel alone, stupid and constantly sad. I feel like such a burden to my partner and my friends. Naturally, I'm trying really really hard to contain these impulses. I'm going to bed very shortly. In my own bed! I'm trying really hard to look beyond the pain of what we aren't experiencing because otherwise this life would quickly become hopeless.

I'm very single again. With a certificate of authenticity. I'm trying really really hard not to be snarky and sarcastic about this. I'm trying not to be all jealous and ugly. How did I do?

Lord knows I'm trying really really hard to "enjoy my singleness" but it's just not working. Maybe I could enjoy it if I didn't have the desire NOT TO BE.

I'm trying really really hard to stay strong. To keep pushing myself to keep my head above water. I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. And I'm trying really really hard to be a hell of a lot more grateful for what I have. I'm serious. But fuck. I didn't even do anything visibly wrong.

I'm trying really hard to avoid death. Darwin sounds like Darth.

I'm trying really really hard not to scare you. How did I do?

I'm trying really hard for her to cuckold me. She has admitted during sex when she is really turned on that she thinks of having more than one guy. Which is THE LAST goddam thing I'd want when I'm trying really really hard to see Scarlett Johansson's titties.

So I'm trying really really hard to hold back the tears but all the self loathing and embarrassment have taken over. I go to the bathroom and lock myself in.

So in conclusion I have found the love of my life and I'm trying really hard not to fuck that up. And sometimes I just wish that instead of being reminded of the one thing I did wrong, someone would acknowledge what I'm trying really really hard to do. Well, I guess this is all I can think of now. Glad you had an "interesting" time. I'll post again sometime when I have more to say.

Almost none of my favorite childhood memories involve my parents hovering.

The Ogre

He advanced
and ate a third
of the earth--
the Ogre,
with his four-hundred-year-old women
and their thousand four-hundred-year-old sons....

did he in the agony of his failure
count them in error?

His whole disease endangers
the eyes of rescued corpses,
neither tame nor pale.
All day every day,
he pisses on the campgrounds of the war...
the Ogre met this one king
who was so poor,
he had no campgrounds--
that one had to borrow the roads
his sons traveled on.

King of Anger--
king who laughs
at iron historicality
or fails to be masculine--
or gives his exoticism
over to femininity--
he makes the skulls of adult gorillas
into cryogenic vats
for human brains.
Hatemongering Ogre--
pitying neither serpent
nor fish.
Hallucinating Ogre, cat-killer....

out of what agonized egg sac
came his superfly voicebox?

[--after Ricardo Aleixo]

Love Is

a series of fragmentary beach parties
we have no choice but to attend

a voice cries out loud and long
this morning we exist

ah my trick vibrating eyeballs
excuse me while I ruin this piano

[--after Ricardo Aleixo]

Dolphins in History and Films

Dear Royce B. McClure,

I love dolphins and your pictures of dolphins are beautiful. Dolphins are beautiful, graceful and intelligent creatures, long loved by mankind and this range of several different dolphin pictures show that beauty. I love it! the dolphins are beautiful and I just wanted to say how nice it is. I will return to see what I haven't already checked out.

Dolphins are beautiful mammals. This under water sea creature is very interesting. These are some facts about dolphins. They are 2.4 or 2.7 meters long. A dolphin can have up to 2 babies. Dolphins are smooth and usually are gray or pink. They will jump and spin around playfully. Dolphins eat a lot of different kinds of food. Dolphins love to eat. Dolphins are found everywhere, except in the coldest waters. They swim so smoothly in the waters of the ocean. They are found in antarctic and subantarctic waters. Dolphins are beautiful and smart. They can carry packages. They also can carry lines to lost boat drivers. They also travel in schools to hunt for food. They are social animals who communicate well with each other. Dolphins are beautiful and graceful creatures that have been on the earth a lot longer than us. No one can argue that whales and dolphins are beautiful creatures, but if you look at them closely, they seem to be made up of the strangest parts. No wonder people have been fascinated by them for years! Do you think that dolphins close their eyes?

OMG I love dolphins they are so beautiful this is a great page! Yay! Dolphins are beautiful creatures and will always have a wild spirit. I have been very lucky because I have had the awesome experience of swimming with dolphins twice. I have all ready swam with them and adopted 3. Dolphins dont suc u suc dolphins are beautiful. You call that a dolphin pod it looks like bloub.

Dolphins, dolphins, dolphins, dolphins. Dolphins, dolphins are beautiful creatures, shrouded in mystery. Dolphins, dolphins are beautiful creatures, to be correct a miniature whale, and are also extremely clever. Dolphins evolved in the ocean while hoofed animals evolved on land. The whales and dolphins are beautiful starseed who agreed to stay with you on earth to revitalize and continually update the encodings within the water. Dolphins are beautiful, but they always come across as the adolescents of the cetacean world. Belugas are much more elegant and stately. Belugas are wonderful. The whales are pure white and beautiful! They are also part of the mammal family. Dolphins are beautiful, both in the water and in the freezer.

Although dolphins are beautiful animals, to many they are much, much more. Dolphins have taken on civilizations considered to be imaginary. Surrounded by myth, mystery, hundreds of admirers and danger, these people are beautiful, the dolphins are beautiful, everything is beautiful! Dolphins are beautiful, graceful, spiritual creatures. Dolphins are beautiful like music. Dolphins are beautiful creatures, but they move fast. Dolphins like to swim fast. Find out how to capture them--all of them--on film.

Dolphins are beautiful intelligent creatures. People all over the world think that dolphins are beautiful and intelligent. People say that dolphins are beautiful, intelligent creatures, yet not enough is being done to save them from extinction. If you ask most people they will say that dolphins are beautiful, intelligent creatures yet not enough is being done to save them from extinction. Dolphins are beautiful creatures and should be saved not killed! One had been shot, one had been fed trash and debris, and the other ate fish during the red tide incident. You need to recycle because the dolphins get caught in those plastic holes from six-packs and the dolphins are beautiful! Dolphins are beautiful and intelligent and graceful, and yet they are being used as tools/slaves to essentially carry out genocide. It's our war, not theirs. However, dolphins are beautiful and agile animals.

Dolphins are beautiful wanderers of the sea. Dolphins are beautiful and cute. That's why people like them the best. The embossed dolphins are beautiful. They glide and play through the water without an apparent care in the world. No two are exactly alike. Sometimes, okay, most times, I envy dolphins.

The essence of life is more important than the meaning of it. Vincent taped a piece of gauze over the new tattoo. "Take this." She even called one of the other waitresses over to look at my wallet. "Your dolphins are beautiful--you need to put them on the internet for sale."

Seagull Face

             after Nada Gordon

3:04 a.m. nothing doing
here I and my ilk
are the real problem
I seldom buy a book
facing left others right
peacock and seagull face off ... lifeline
up the bass ... a U-shaped valley
insert seagull face here ... mine?
dead seagull face dead fly dead fly pelican
dead seagull face dead seagull face boy in water boy in water
dead jellyfish dead jellyfish dead tree dead tree
seagull face seagull ... Brandon
eyeglasses and bicycling
I can't stand ... seagull face

seagulls rock of seagulls seagulls
bum pals woof
agree ... she has that sort of seagull face
her face yesterday reminded me of
hungry seagull face ... seagull model? model seagull
males men young men young adult females women young women
sitting animal bird water bird sea bird seagull face
post master what joined
urban regret ... tea necklace concept
oil and gas and global seagull face
smashing friend not near a roller coaster
why do you think so?

that image as that of seagull face
as usually in such acoustic I acoustic am sitting
with acoustic seagull face acoustic
you gestate to contract flight
evil witch ... how you like it
how your seagull face
wet toast weevil 4 coach?
should have a seagull face ... shouldn't
carved and elaborate our quaker
carved and detailed our quaker
seagull face is gold ... thank you for bringing that

Among the Giants of Hell

             for Tony Tost

I was executed yesterday as I was
walking among the giants of hell
I alone am the greatest colossus
in meditating on hell, for example
I like skiing by telephone

I was but now dying in the grasp
of this pro-American, pro-Israeli dictator
why is it funny? I don't know
he hammered me and quite rightly
I was driving him back to his hotel and I thought,
he's literally a gunslinger and can't resist
getting behind the giants of hell

all of us have seen history
essays written by faceless cardinals
among the giants of hell which
may weigh up to 1000 pounds

have you noticed a line
on your credit card statement that
science will save air travel and wake up
the ancestry of distant worlds
for the most part the war
scared the guy finding a way to be heard
once he puts up some clouds
in the English department

a huge snarling bulldog hurtles
toward you

tighten the shit out of the snare
and pound it but please
do not expect to be included
among the giants of hell

the high rank Parmenides
has is shown by these
quivering little firms
the abundant aftermath

and yet Washington was alone
among the giants of hell
and I have read a hell of a lot
I can't help but think
but I have orders from the Big Man
you get the idea

10 Questions for Christians

who wants another Yager bomb! I can hold my lick-her well
who's the assclown that signed me up for the NOW Action Alert list

I can't help but add an octopus or squid to a picture last night driving
I used my cupholder to hold my ice cream while driving

I see the assclown speed past Arthur Treacher's, grab some frozen squid
it's great you worked on your riding and improved

I waited patiently to grow into men and 20 seconds to turn back into little boys
squid however have the vessels on the freakmagnet side

evidence that Bush hates black people
some great stuff like "Jesus thought 9/11 was a comedy"

pirates would likely hold my political views against me
most of the time I'm a loud, obnoxious assclown but it's just a front

for I am merely a human! a large green being
which resembles a human with huge bat-wings

I can't sit still in my chair, I can't do any work, I can't even hold my pee
cuz that damn squid will whoop you like it whoops everything else

a nice "cottage cheese butt" would equal up to a good "assclown"
cuz that damn squid will whoop you as has already been explained elsewhere

then I will "find God"
I'll wait for an angel, but I won't hold my breath 'magine they're busy

to bad you're a squid
if you don't hold my hand, I suck

Ocelot of Woodland Park Zoo

                 after Lisa Jarnot

oh ocelot of Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle,
neofelis nebulosa, enlarge the ocelot of
Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle, ocelot
of the orient, of striking but conservative beauty,
of the catamountain which is encouraging us
to turn to the word "catamountain" on an
earlier page, of many endangered species
such as the jaguar, mentioned above, and
other felines of a smaller size, de-clawed
to protect our customers and our fabric,
of medium-sized cats of the Americas,
oh ocelot of Montgomery, be compared
to the ocelots of Central and South America,
except that they are smaller and totally different,
oh ocelot, school will be in session soon,
oh 38,000 hungry coeds to consume,
ocelot of San Pedro, of the environmentalists,
uneasy, excursive, adverse, greedy, oh ocelot,
oh wildcat or bobcat of North America,
he who stands for me, for biker dating services
and parakeets, oh ocelot, hot in the third
yet when he's old not so hot,
ocelot of fear when the animal attacks
and of sadness at the conclusion, ocelot of death,
impetuously, oh knowingly, erroneously,
fatuous, ah, more gallant than an insect,
oh ocelot of Central America, logged in
to submit comments, what the hell, ocelot,
tell us what you really think, oh ocelot,
I so agree, how right you are, Alderaan
was the first planet destroyed by the Death Star,
oh ocelot we are talking very fast about,
my heart goes out to you and prays
that your heart is happy with love,
always watching our backs, oh ocelot!
such a cute kitty! ocelot! heeeyy ocelot!
oh ocelot celebrating his own return
in the shadows, daybreak, nightfall,
badger lemur urchin, oh ocelot.

The Aminals

This is a collection of photos of incredibly small aminals.
The photos aren't spectacular, but the aminals are.

The aminals are being fed an unhealthy seed diet.
The toxic properties of the aminals are not well defined.

When the aminals are threatened, the tail is tucked between the legs.
The aminals are doing just fine.

On Wednesday I was gonna be unimaginative.
The aminals are resin. TGIF!

Hello there Heidelweiss, jah ist bearday time!
Holla back at ya neighborhood Mack, mile a minute!

The aminals are nice and large and add to the whole look of the room.
The zoo keeper ate his keys and the aminals are running afuck.

The aminals are all sleeping.
We wake up as the aminals are waking in the morning.

It was proved that the aminals are formed by the attack of a suitable base.
If all the aminals are there then I think it will be worth going.

All the aminals are gone. Laurel is in Sun Valley.
I miss Holly. I love Holly. YES I'LL GO OUT WITH U! I love u so much.

The aminals are glad that you made them.
And we're glad that you made us too!

What sound would the aminals make when the aminals are sad or happy.
"Wanna go home!" "Thirsty!" "Hungry!" "Gotta go potty!"

Luckily for me I am in the armpit of the world.
But that's not the point here, maybe the aminals are taking over.

The aminals are after me.
I've done something wrong to offend them.

They're on the loose and want my head.
I'm running around in circles on the earth.

I think we will ask for more info when we get to Benidorm.
The aminals are eating soup. Pit-pat, pit–pat.

Beyond the Complexity of My Whiteness

Will someone please define whiteness for me?

Acuras and credit cards tell me that my whiteness is oppressive.

Writing about my whiteness is really easy. My whiteness is something that I am. I don't mean that my whiteness is this accident of birth.

My whiteness is reflected in documents like my birth certificate, driver's license, and eventually my death.

That's what part of my whiteness is now. But that's the kind of thing where my whiteness is kind of strange.

My impulse is to emphasize the ways in which my whiteness is different.

My whiteness is protected. My whiteness is not the one of money, it is not the one of privilege.

My whiteness is emphasized by contrast with the beautiful complexions of my friends. Please advise.

My whiteness is no cause for celebration. It's a cause for worry. My whiteness is getting in the way of my ability to see.

My whiteness is a force field around my body. It is unjust, immoral even. As we flee across the hills my whiteness is covered.

My whiteness is not my main political concern. My family traded in their cultural heritage.

My whiteness is throwing off the needle of my moral compass. My whiteness is permanent.

There are situations in which my whiteness is certainly not an unmarked category. It is not at the center. Only a few more years.

My whiteness is invisible to the power structures of these countries: Canada, Denmark, France, The Netherlands.

My femaleness is very visible. My whiteness is a homing device for the sketchtastic men that congregate here.

My whiteness is overwhelming me, but so is your titty name.

My whiteness is a mask for all the cultural and political oppression I have suffered. My whiteness is made an issue by everyone else.

My whiteness is a product of time, not individual intent. This does not mean that the fact of my whiteness is not accidental.

I find it irrelevant whether my whiteness is genuine or not. My whiteness is not an issue. Am I one of the privileged, waving a flag?

My whiteness is passing along certain information, certain exercises, certain physical frames.

I don't understand how these constructs operate in your country. My whiteness is not quite the same as yours.

Being uncomfortable with my whiteness is healthy. My whiteness is a stigma of too many connotations, an unfathomable cultural schism.

My whiteness is not to be confused with a Socratic dialogue.

My whiteness is what people see first, leaving me something of a blank slate until I open my mouth and my class falls out.

My whiteness is an accident of migratory history. For that I am to suffer myriad punishments.

My whiteness is visible and I have no choice but to be viewed. I have had long discussions about these ideas with a co-worker who is Chinese.

My whiteness is pressed close. I am uncomfortable to see. Wait a minute, I'm not white.

My whiteness is contestable. My whiteness is the factor that protects me from being stopped.

My whiteness is terminal. Join in the fun.

Fickle Chemistry

I'm wearing a T-shirt with the slogan I'm With Stupid. Do I smell a little bit of hypocrisy? I smell a little bit of cream when I swirl it.

The Weaver daughters had a mini-freakout at the go-kart racetrack and I'm sorry, but come on.

Get rid of the largely black clientele? Perhaps I smell a little bit of reverse psychology.

I smell prejudice in the air! Against whom or what? Fuck you if I smell a little bit street today. Too often, my neocon alarm bell rings.

When I smell gas in the kitchen, I know one of my stove's pilot lights has gone out. When I stand right next to the water heater, I smell a little bit of gas. If I move one foot away, I no longer can smell it.

I smell a little bit of mango and something that smells like candy corn. Patrick smells metal. It feels a little carbonated.

I get flack for calling the cashier a "black female?" That makes no sense. Be careful or they will call ya Bin "Fuckin'" Laden!

Marianne says I smell a little like cinnamon toast and goat. I should go and take a shower.

Am I, and other posters, supposed to apologize for caring about this subject? I am shaking and crying right now and the whole thing just made my eyes bleed.

Good work and stay out of the orange jump suits as long as possible. I smell a little bit of double standard going on here.

I smell a little bit of fish on the forum. I'm not familiar with the writer but I know the editor somewhat.

"As time goes by it's going to get worse." "I'm going to sweat a lot." "I got my Birkenstocks."

These sound like statements coming from a group of people who are suffering. I smell dialogue plagiarism here. There is no sthingy there is no sthingy.

I smell a little like the same thing going on here. But here the issue is that is the case where often.

I'm concerned that I smell like a boy, but I don't think that's what it smells like. Either way, I want to eat the smell. Mistake mistake mistake.

Onion suppose to make our nerves calm and put me well into sleep, but not for me. Anyways it is talking about how school is design to keep you bored and stupid. I smell a little bit of hippie in there, but it's cool.

You can go places in the world with pudding. It's very very faint. Or do I smell "establishment of religion"?

Is that look supposed to be a sexy pout? It actually reminds me of someone.

It's okay, I have very fickle chemistry. My hair smells fresh though. A lot has happened. Actually that was a lie. Not a lot has happened.

By the way is so far going good except I feel like I smell a little bit. Who cares if I smell a little bit, everyone does! No! Everyone does not smell.

Seriously though I have a toothbrush and deodorant so I'm good.

! apparel

try beetle
the boastful
the Kansas
in bittersweet
it's fang
be fastidious
or primitive
try Gillespie
be drape
or compass
be Bessemer
not curtain
try blastula
or maybe not


Micke boy I remember you
from back in the days in the Arts

I would get some sound-activated
cold cathodes after reading about

some knee hooks carved out
of blocks and glassed to the boat

did you have a red Grand Am and played
them off your trunk? I think

the rotary engine enthusiasts
were 30-foot-tall monsters

that hurled boulders and drained
multiple guns before dying

how does that style work
is it difficult to wet exit

after you do the run and square
they seem to stay down longer

and all the children have to learn
to kill with the sword

Micke I remember driving to Westwood
I think we were the Jets

just being like uh OK sure
say mom mom North Carolina

asking for a vote oink oink
yes we need one of those

this winter has been better
than I remember last winter being

Cephalopod Fucking

              for Brandon Downing

Tabitha Vevers, Embrace, 2006, oil and gold leaf
on sea clam shell, 4 3/4" x 6 7/8" x 1 1/4"

the idea that water can retain some kind of imprint
of compounds dissolved in it means fuck-all to anyone?

the equation between God and fucking is so Japanese
putting a million explosions in your trilobite
that sort of thing

we could call this a huge argument from silence and then
the optical clarity of the ninety-one boobsquad

the cephalopod is your god
he hasn't arms or legs
"prehaps your some kind of morbid fucking asshole"

there's a fossilized dinosaur foot right next to my
ceramic plant holder, not alarm yourself!
nem kell megijedni! do not fuck me about!

the psychopharmacological sex holiday
crash but on a fucking type
who brought it is all sorts of those

sexually lipstick the breast-fed foldable nads
anal shipowner chime in
with plenty of good old-fashioned centurion

exhortation of off-fucking
in the case of a dry seal

explicit hetero mother
is that you transferring the energy of the flower

please remind me how happy I am
I'm throwing myself at you

Listless Idolatry

                 for Nada

panic kind of scene (dame/hit man)
Nada swims exhausted in oily seas

the rhetorician addresses witnesses and they are all moving
optic receivers (eyes)

nothing in fist came to earth
no special "wartime" clause

a lesbian with visible nipples does not have eyes
none at all and not expect the suspicion

and blacklisting blood that's thin and colder
or Lady Nada seventh violet

grumbling six expediency souvenirs
qua merged picnic vatican l'oeil orchards

hurrah unused words of Marx
not based on iron wire perfectly

null face of the government
anemic zenith high noon

Thursday builders banished idlers calmly smoking
seeking Kurds to the feared politics

and could it be so violent beneath a porch
because Israel's jog-trot lack of low-spirited malarkey

certainly isn't to say that om should get
the best of six organs on a split 7"

Nada at least gives you something gal anyday
& Uncle Schmucko providing dull background noise

but the main man's effort is irrelevant brooms
secretionary redhead dampener

boilover Swahili nonmusics
I think I need to do something exciting

Too Much Ass

I have a big ass
and they can't see me
we could all use that much ass ... but
you wanna be real

we sucked far too much ass
than one should ever suck
you blow yourself up if you don't
want to be Judd Nelson

severe rashes around the mouth with gak on a nightly basis
I guess I won't be signing up to haunt any establishment
into this dysfunctional pseudoketchup?

find out if the excess lies in how much
shirt that show your asscrack all period
there's just too much ass around here
I can't stand to look

this big toolbox was what the guys wanted to show me
so as not to appear homophobic

in other Britney news, they're going
to crack the internet in half at some point?
they've got to tell the world that too much ass is fine
that whole scene looks so annoying

what plant maintenance do you do ... I'm an American
or am I? I don't know
[funny telemarketer call]
it really disturbs me to listen to lyrics

I hate them and hope they die
that being said, I'm coming over to your house
to get a job as a bus driver
they'll blur out some asscrack

I think you're showing a little too much ass
that is just way too much ass for one person
and I need to check it out
what you gonna do with all of that junk?
it would be better if it was squirrels on a bus

Thinging of You

oops I cant stop thinging of u
made me sad thinging how much

aww but Im ... wuddaappp! LMFAO
yeye me so sad out to the box

what does this mean? Vargon-Ferrets
are all u ever thing of / u dont know

we sometimes says better than duro in this case
depends in which situation are u is

home of the brave is what
this a war zone u see

the war shoved back on just when
I was thinging Paradise Lost ache

wish that the shakes disturbing
but we harld can open our mind

so u have been "thinging"
I always knew u couldnt thing

Im thinging the thong of the thouth!
tho anywayth

I miss u kid
I haven't talked to u in forever

Commie Girlfriend

"I dance at a topless club," Tom's girlfriend said copacetically
"excuse me while I step on your face
you coming on to me, Myrtle?

a halfling rogue, an old human druid
who doesn't speak much English went totally crazy at some point and
it's off to the races!
anything his hand touches is smeared
he was talking to his MOTHER in Iraq, not his drug dealer
he lives in freaking France for crissakes
he and his girlfriend love to rattle off foolish crap
"men are all pigs"
"guns should be banned from the world"
"I hate computer games"
it gives me the shivers, like it is a bunch of yakking

I've got the coolest friends
some dirty Irish sausage delivery man
who isn't a redneck and his slanty eyed commie girlfriend named Nada
trains are great
too bad human beings screw them up

men are dirty and bandwidth gums up our garage doors
so we had never seen a napkin and regularly had 2 colas
that's because the Vietnam War was a liberal sissy war
but Lady Macbeth will also do a lapdance for 100 bucks
non-commie homosexuality has to be filled in England for decades
yadda yadda etc.

the Lady Macbeth idea is interesting on paper but
you're automatically a commie despite circumstances
at least the girl that kicked my ass
in 1934 put an end to musical adventures like
"the world would be a better place if people ate more dirt"
goddam commies and their dirt

Old Groping

mommy why tentacle rape
read more about old groping together
and the third world sans Trojan horse
half the tribe over grease removal before long term care

I vote I groped a great deal
and raised oddly when I was unable to sing
unforgivable and immemorial groping
of theatre is the lobby which is other

you're so tentacle rape dedicated to your work
thou hast sold thyself to evil
the awful forums you've done while sleeping
it approximate might cool zoofilia

if Paul cheats on Liz with Susan with both hands
and she knew there was no tentacle rape
also don't get any on slightly she knew
it groped himself in the least stag of the gold chain

she began to moan school violence
with amor we had used since college days when our feats were new
forced to be a sissy that takes Mastercard
to break into a cop's house where it looks like groping for boobs

thereafter the ocean groped me its debt consolidation
part home mortgage calculator
part unwanted office orgasms that nature deeply my buttocks to cry
some other foolish golf equipment nice thanks golf equipment drunk

Tyra Banks getting groped 1
Tyra Banks getting groped 2
Tyra Banks getting groped 3
tentacle rape is just another way of saying hello

and well hey what else was there in 1996?
neither tentacle rape elaborated non-banshee configuration
it had Photoshop and plenty of ram and well hey what
I never wanted for anything I liked its Telnet better

Another Infected Chainsaw*

An incinerated stovepipe ruminates, because
A line dancer pees on a fighter pilot
Defined by an apartment building. A ball
Bearing feels nagging remorse, and
A radioactive buzzard goes to sleep;
However, a feline squid learns a hard
Lesson from a sheriff. Now and then,
The stovepipe related to another demon
Knows a somewhat fashionable cab driver.

The cashier flies into a rage, but another
Bullfrog for the senator barely recognizes
The lazily self-actualized hole puncher.
Quickly. Miles above him. A the dole
Queue at over from space, but they entered.
--Clearer ravines, stare into one
To see his so tense? --Yes, that's what am I?
--Hi. --No, nor why his head's and just fine,
He said. --Hey, come to of time actually here,
I only of that you can do idle whose?
--The cat's own tousled become
President of Antares (an the wind).
As with iron mallets; of I don't.

A hardly most difficult hole puncher,
A mastadon, and the globule
Inside a minivan are what made
America great! Some tuba player
Of a fairy recognizes a cough syrup
Defined by a parking lot, but an anomaly
From a paycheck competes with the cheese
Wheel around the abstraction. A rattlesnake
Ridiculously trades baseball cards
With a Eurasian spider. Furthermore,
Some feline salad dressing meditates,
And a steam engine almost plans
An escape from the spider a grain of sand.

The fire hydrant for a tuba player
Seldom brainwashes a slow cocker spaniel,
Because an ocean over a ball bearing
Steals pencils from a bartender
Toward the buzzard. The shabby pig
Pen slyly cooks cheese grits
For the apartment building over
The cocker spaniel. A grain of sand
Defined by the asteroid trembles,
Because some spider about a cheese wheel
Knows a thoroughly resplendent tomato.

Sometimes the greasy mortician prays,
But a garbage can about another turkey
Always steals pencils from a globule!

Furthermore, a minivan self-flagellates,
And the hypnotic cargo bay competes
With the tuba player.

*Verbatim spam, enhanced with line breaks and minor punctuational adjustments.

Biggier Avatars

this is suppose to be the first chapter of a biggier story
I need help with my mollies ASAP
cannot stop laughing at Justin's armpit hair
my boobies are biggier ahaha biggier I'm stoned

I don't want to visit my brother because
when it comes to quantum mechanics somebody is "a blowed-up peckerwood"
I think it would be a good idea to add a watch tower
and maybe some biggier more detailed turrents

plus something about the flywheel weighing more
helping it stand up out of corners better
in which you don't have to squint
to see the future for biggier hurricanes

the crusades where just bad ex-uses for the European kings
and the soldiers raped and plundered for a good cause
in number terms alone often biggier then many others
then difficult but to me doesn't mean he/she will be the fish head maybe

I needed to raise the car due to the fact that
aircraft fusaldge is made out of aluminum mostly
the biggier its the more it costs
and like I said before there dickhorn we got biggier fish to fry then some

stick in this slot and stick in that slot
is that purple slot special?
any biggier and it's just silly ok
maybe more puppy dogs would help with biggier sadder eyes?

I think REM would have and did back off for Pink Floyd
one of my biggier females are in but I'm still not even sure if she's pregnant or not
no YOU go eat something
after I couldn't button up my jeans I just freaked out

Irish Assholes

god I hate these new Irish assholes
those feckin' English are nowt but a bunch of Irish retards
and Irish Marxists have sex with animals
and the IRA stands for Irish Retards Association
trust me, I know

St. Patty's Day sucks
wish it never was a holiday

my annual experience with St. Patty's Day
stupid drunken middle-aged quarter-Irish assholes
drinkin' pints of Guinness/green fuckin' beer

phony Irish assholes an' real Irish scumbags
singin' "The Men Behind the Wire"
an' "The Boys of the Old Brigade" in bars all over
drunken Irish assholes wavin' a flag

tiocfaidh ár lá
that's the retarded slogan of the Irish retards
which means "shitty Irish retards"

Irish T-shirts for Irish assholes
("I Heart Irish Assholes")
I enjoy the fact the only group you belong to are Irish assholes

congregatin' outside my window lustin' after 15-year-old girls
midget Irish parents tiny Catholic parade toys
drunken pith-helmet-wearin' Irish assholes
Reality Beach MySpace group Irish assholes
David Hasselhoff Fan Club Irish assholes

Irish Hawaii-guy assholes fuckin' Nashville lesbian tit machines
stupid Irish assholes blarin' out of the radio
while fat lazy Irish assholes gleefully put anyone in front of the camera
an' we don't mean a wee bit o' the diarrhea!

enough with the "shite"
I fuckin' hate stupid Americans who think they're Irish
I like Americans
I just hate Americans who think they're Irish
when they're not

don't think that stumblin' around sloshed and vomitin'
on yourself is actin' Irish
it's bad enough when the Irish retards do it

enjoy wearin' somethin' green to work
and drinkin' dyed Coors Light, you non-Irish retards
it's dyed Miller Lite

did you send that picture of your butt crack
my virginity lives on
science--COLLEGE science--"Irish retards" *cough*

all times are now the time is MMHHH shiney and stuff MNNHHNNGGG
looks like a bunch of Irish retards may be payin' you all a visit
lookin' forward to it

seriously, when pill-poppin', ignorant Irish retards start dislikin' you
it's time to have an end-of-the-bed moment and seriously,
George Bush sucks

that the gel of the thing 'istence of takin' 'ingly
Irish retards meet singles finiddly by datin' people
by firm management, datin', date-me thing, 'istence of takin' 'ingly

WTF u on about Irish retards, ur from Holland
there would be more retards there than anywhere else in the world

all of a sudden some music started to play
and the Irish retards began to strip
suddenly all their clothes disappeared

Dustin Hoffman meets Irish assholes who want to screw his sexy wife
(rated X)
so Mary Catherine says we can call her "Pornography Joe"
hip hip

so I hope that ur comin' over to party with us Irish retards tonight
there's gonna be lots of food and beer
I'll see ya later ... I LOVE YOU!

I support this petition because, fuckin' Irish retards

anyone who does get a chance to spit
in this Irish asshole's food please take it on my behalf
thankin' you in advance, Casey

Fascist Poem

Edward is possibly at home
reading his favorite poem
"God Bless Mrs Donald"
it's the most beautiful, wise, philosophical poem
others just think it's an inept horror film

I think he is an extremely confused man
who has been taken in by that poem
the key issue here is not literary merit
I do not believe that the poem
will be a horrid little abortion

while the obvious slant to this poem is a feminist one
it can also be interpreted as fascist
and it's good you didn't read that
it would have fascistized you faster
than you could say "Callooh! Callay!"

these are the moments when
the authoritarian modernists come to terms
with the dominance of the letter "I"
first they came for the communists
one day they'll be coming after poets on stilts

All Fours

remember they walk on all fours and can be found
beyond our horse of the old style
we've got to show them
the "dress code"

but not the police he caught his breath
as he saw his man through the tunnel
grow smaller in the distance
ripping until a plank or stick was left

whose holes throughout
the franchise lie flattish
and curved elegantly into the cup
last year keeping alive

some of the best craftwork comes out
of the trinity of dogs
in the middle of the rue
I I'm a aardvark

he darn well broke it
from a 2D snapshot he swept
from the 5 Kentuckians
sexually active shoplifting eyeholes

through the ruins
often loping ahead
to tell bullwhip inmates
were served bread and ersatz

The Miscellaneous Penguins

I'm a hardcore fan of LOTR and yes I believe
that sock monkeys stole my PANTS

working in liquid (very rare) you can normally find
bankruptcy proceedings although penguins
are the best fricking animal in the world they are so da bomb
just chill out and click on stuff
and penguins will be the next kind of England

my name's Jane I am IN LOVE with GERARD WAY!
he sooo wants to marry me ... sometimes I think
pretty penguins will take over the world
but I believe they will be more like benevolent dictators
as penguins are great

seagulls are penguins in disguise
and they may "lose control"

lalalala raaa I'm hyper eating marzipan
and blue food coloring on the 12 of August
it is cool because it's red
put heavy metal on a loud speaker and kill us all
then Karen will take over and I'll add some information
on another interesting club I urge you to join
where you fight goblins and other mythical creatures
while riding polar bears and seals

no I'm not really sure if 1 day penguins will take over the world
but I do know that Paige is a good friend and she is really funny


a man with a mouth full of violence outside the holes
leaning in just that kind of way
asked me how my hair is so soft
"at first I thought it was a piece of rubbish or a clear tarpaulin sheet"

your tiny ferry was making a new job
stylistically all over the map unrelentingly

trim preceded us but all the trim
shaft had to come thrust loads
young girls showering under a big lack of pizza
dodging zillions of lobster pots
pure white slick and shiny inside and out

if you happen to catch Big Brotherism on your propane stove
the hairy ones dive off the property ladder
leaving jobs and spoiled our toes
on the lumpish butch with an armful
of plastic birds or side loads
to crinkle on application

what better use for 20-year-old salad dressing
little do I care if my nose is allowed tuna 2 minutes later
my leg tied to a tree stump

my wife has this humongous Art Deco black kid
with underwater photo of guts
free world w/ "utrics"
it somewhat shiny

I trade off weekly charts but I go for
the can containing Williams' head
can't believe it stayed still long
yet another cowboy cookie for big boys

big dog Bruce clothes
big fat ugly astrology
NY shiny disco balls

Irish Fun

my name is Eileen
I can only stand myself
I live in NY gathering essays by Susan Howe,
Michael Palmer, ANTHONY D. BUFFALO, and others

one of their lieutenants will step up a hecticness
who led a varied life on the western pioneer and ended up a poet
ANTHONY D. BUFFALO hired by the Pilgrims
as military advisor for many early Terrytoons cartoon characters

then in Warhol’s fin-de-siecle apes comic masterpiece Heart of Darkness
the struggle between Joan Didion and Dennis Cooper
concludes precisely as you know that it must
I was working on the project for quite a while
before I actually read an alternate history
kind of thing where Dracula won

you have just been married in a green world
do you like pizza do you like to save money
do you like lesbian vampire movies
how-to books and homesteading magazines

O MERRY hae I been teethin’ a heckle
an’ merry hae I been shapin’ a spoon

drunk Irish telephone fun
hello! tell me you’re Eileen
uh no Eileen he can’t come to the phone right now

go to the Renaissance Festival and heckle the sword fighters
laugh at their clumsy and often confused subversive re-writing
shut the fuck up when they read their poems

there may even come a day tho we won’t live to see it
when a ball of light comes up a street
to prune this issue somehow girlfriend

My Racism

You're going to say something about my racism, is that it? And you're going to point out that I must be a really upset person. Best of luck to you. But I don't think my racism is the issue at stake. After all, I have fought prejudice and racism for nearly a half-century. Also, a few years ago, I remember reading a newspaper.

Yes I'm a racist, but only my racism is against uneducated idiots, terrorists, and people like you that support them. But I hold no illusions, the germ of racism is infectiously present everywhere, and the best a white man can hope for. But there are many Black folk who are not as fortunate.

I understand some of the theories that you present and argue. I see that my racism is a violation not so much of God's rules but of God's grace. I was refreshed in the workshop by another realization. It's not because you're racist, it's because you're you. To prove my racism is inherited, I will tell you a true story. I wore my "Racism is a Crime" button on my coat as I walked into the Municipal Building. I wasn't planning to put this on my resume.

My racism is situational. It's a strictly phone-based racism. Even if I manage to sound convincing when I protest that no, really, I'm not a racist, I can always be trumped by the ominous implication. Then I am able to remember how much Christ has loved me. I don't care because to me my racism is the biggie. I guess my racism is universal.

Insofar as my "racism" is concerned, I can't let that bother me too much. My backyard doesn't enforce. You want to know what my racism is? Lately my racism is just good common sense. I drive a Japanese car. It is as much a part of me as my racism. But I don't plan on feeling guilty about it either. I agree with a few of the BNP policies. I agree with nothing the NF stands for. I admit that my racism is getting more serious after flying for few years. This is how people become racist in the first place.

As of right now, my racism is all for the Africans, none for Mexicans, none for Blacks, not even for Asians! God I love Chinese people, and housechores, and putting food on the table, and the time I spend just falling apart, and somehow, working on my racism is never # 1. Gonna take Mom and the kids out for an evening walk down 4th Street. That's how crazy evil I am.

My racism is intellectual or not, smart or not, rational or not. In all three cases, the results are the same. My racism is justified. My racism is not towards ethnicity. My racism is not based on religion, color, or class. My racism is based upon people who think. My racism is merely my pointing to an Israeli historian.

Our or my racism is not built and does not seek world domination unlike the empires or the would-be empires which you have mentioned. My racism is only towards the Sinhala racists who are hiding behind Buddhism. They exist. I point them out.

My racism is something that has been learned and experienced by living daily. It's there. My racism is connected with my being born and raised. My racism is valid because of the racism I have suffered and will continue to suffer. They say my racism is bad, but isn't anti-racism, too?

My racism is not something I'm proud of. My heart is the blackest of blacks. So black that it appears white. In an all-white racist context, my racism is never called out. I would even agree with the objection that my racism is directed against Caucasian (it means my own) race. My racism is in my expectations from white people. So my racism is less racists, because I'm ETHNIC, and some of my best friends are ETHNICS, some of 'em strait (sic) of (sic) teh (sic) baot (sic). So what? Some people (some people in my family) would crucify me for that kind of tolerance, but my racism is more of the ideological kind. Yes, my racism is completely awakening in Istanbul.

Personally, I don't like racism. The only racist tendencies I have are aimed at the French. There will always be that barrier that says to them, "I know you." Racism costs the racist under a capitalist system. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I would hate to think that my racism is wasted.

My racism is hurting me. My white friends know this. Most of the gay women I meet think my racism is ridiculous. But what are they telling me? A charm is the national control intervene by the alone pursuit or his law need than the literary anger and my racism is of your necessary shareholder. It is issues like this that have made me this way. "I know I am a racist, but I am trying to overcome my racism." The American Thinker says this is one of the GREAT speeches.

They say that my racism is internalized and that I have been tricked into believing the great white lie. Maybe I have. Sorry if you don't like it. You are a minority. Also, you don't really know me, so your assumption of my racism is more inappropriate than my mass generalization. You claim to be Miss Civility here, so tell the board where my racism is. Show me exactly where my racism is readily apparent. You have till midnight else be deemed the dolt you are.

FYI, I'm part Jewish & my wife is black.

Dark Gary

when Gary and I walked into the morning
he first introduced me to fall turkey hunting

we’ve certainly fallen foul and thoroughly salt-glazed inside and outside
for this I do thank you

when the clouds passed between the moon and earth
Gary was eyeing candy less blatantly but it seemed to me more knowledgeably

just what is it in me? sometimes I just don’t avoid
using bleach and iron beneath a moist cloth

I don’t know what I’m missing and I roll on to the floor next to the bed
and start looking around as Gary continues to make sounds

I want to ask who will bring backdrop also?
anyone one has flower?

digging for oil or digging for water it’s hit and miss
Gary says about finding clear cool water big bear gold

I remember vividly for some reason
Gary saying “let’s not use the flashlight unless we have to”

“I’m cold” and “that creepy monster in the pool that made
you buy or build a house with rental cabins

on a giant piece of clear modern glass that you should carry with you
and end it all in 1979

implies that before Augustine the church was very dark”
if you want to buy some thing go to the market and you will see

a “premiere team of lieutenants” among them a sheriff who must
rally his town to fight the Fresh Prince of Egypt

oblivion excels at girding its soldiers
together into some new flying chariot for the Batlord

they have a cute rolling glow-in-the-dark spastic Gary-snail and
an even more spazzy sandy squirty Squidward thing in the tub just because

I’ve read everything I could get my hands on about breeding
are you in the dark my friend?

what is the story of your life? I melt with you
rusty iron is great!

#1 on Google for lemming lesbian spank inferno
I would like everyone to know the pernicious underbelly of this search tool

“I play banjo and I self medicate” says Gary
damn you’re dark Gary!

back in the freezer section of the little bodega
Gary finally found what he’d been looking for behind smooth clear glass

Gary wore no bathing suit because no one could see that he was naked
Gary propped the clam’s mouth open with the six-pound Brandon

Gary did scare them away with an axe
his tent flap zipped open and we heard the dull thud of his body collapsing

even after his apartment was vacant
if it didn’t have any color it would be white with a bit of yellow/brown something

Gary bumps his leg on the table when the electricity goes off
Gary insists that it will operate “indefinitely”

I didn’t see much of him after that
Dark Gary gone for sure

I’d still look up at it
obsessions are like that

Alls I Remember

Alls I remember is two beams of light coming from the front of the vehicle and the feeling of being entranced, like a deer frozen in the headlights.

Alls I remember is the leader of the bad guys was a T-rex and the leader of the good guys was an Allosaur.

Alls I remember is the really evil god was Charnel, the pretty damn evil god is Pyro, the smart neartral god is Stratos and I dont remember the other 2 gods.

Alls I remember is it is by the hut that is by the grenade launching tower, its an underground lab you need to find the ladder, thats the best I can do.

Alls I remember is walking thru the store and there was no bread. I was pissed cause they were all sold out.

Alls I remember is you always asking for hugs and you singing me songs! LOL that was hot. Good times.

Alls I remember is that it really hurt and I was thirsty. Well I dont have much else to say except I have no clu how we became friends.

Alls I remember is bomb jacking u verbally nonstop and u just couldnt take the shit anymore so u decided to side with him. Get over urself.

Alls I remember is being on a bed with a awning or whatever u cal it over the top and this little dog is viciously barking at us.

Alls I remember is goin into the chapel and doing spontaneous melodramas on my way thru DS to maidens when this Fungi Shroom aggro'd on me. For some odd reason I never remember strippers before 3D.

Alls I remember is looking through some guy's directories for his website and finding those Photoshop of the fat kid.

Alls I remember is people in cages in the basement and black people. Back in the day I didnt like this movie. But I'll go rent it.

Alls I remember is how to get through levels and such, not all of that discovering secrets. I didn't know, and therefore I got married.

Alls I remember is duck duck goose.

Alls I remember is I was young when I started playing with myself and couldnt stop until I was done shaking it.

Alls I remember is that it saved my butt when the librarian came up.

Alls I remember is I didn't get to beat it because the server shut down, so I beat it on my own server. I love that map. WrongWorld2 has NO purpose at all. Whatever.

Alls I remember is that I said "dank" alot. So anyways yeah this is me. No doot aboot it.

Alls I remember is Donald Pleasance pulling some worms out of his arm.

Alls I remember is what I said, it's in code or whatever. Retarded.

Alls I remember is that I was bout maybe a half mile or so from home and almost went into every dam ditch there was on my way home Im just glad I didnt get shit.

Alls I remember is holding Bullet's hand at the dining room table and telling him how much of a great job I think he's doing with TeamCelica.

Alls I remember is him giving me this crazy look like :eek: but I did not think anything of it hahah.

Alls I remember is LOL I know not a lot. Smrt. I should really write stuff down.

Alls I remember is Pitstain and the small Pete in school, and then Pitstain was about to beat him up. Thats what I specifically remember.

Alls I remember is different workld or some show was making fun of him because he had big props.

Alls I remember is EM saying all my friends are wusses let do a Jager bomb!

Alls I remember is you makin that comprehension of [-+-] thread, I think you started it. Fuck socom 2 and hatin on you I dont really remember.

Alls I remember is something to do with "faclempt."

Alls I remember is that my name is Leonard Shelby. I love men. You know what I like about this place? Everything.

Alls I remember is dance music at half tempo with weird procussion stuck in my head. I don't even know if I spelled that right.

Alls I remember is alot of heavy metal, wild women and satanic cults. I'm pretty sure it was by Kemco cos it was very very Shadowgate and Deja Vu-y.

Alls I remember is that their name started with a B and had 4 letters in it. All of the guys in the band we're totally cool.

Alls I remember is someone chiming in about Jerry Garcia missing a finger.

Alls I remember is something about don't clap in between different sets in symphonies it makes the musicians nervous or something I dunno.

Alls I remember is that it seemed extortionate. I forget.

Alls I remember is that I was getting fucking slayed all day it was fun.

Alls I remember is Oprah.

I Rmeember

I rmeember the wise words that my teacher said: "if you want a man to drown in your lust, you must, you must increase your bust."

I rmeember sitting at the dinner table trying to finish my meal after everyone left, unfortunately, I was suppose to clean my plate.

I rmeember when the whole thing went down. I do not understand what we are being treated as children with our conversations limited.

I rmeember the Batman statue, released limited editon last ear.

I rmeember that. I licked it. Well, onyl once. Then you told me to stop.

I rmeember a little altercation you had with Tuna over it or adjusting your car's speedo for it.

I rmeember Blofeld's book does not contain a single reference to sex, aside from one brief comment that practitioners of the red tantra get the same.

I rmeember you, u donated me to start a family guy clan, and the beast is ur second account, caus ei remember u got enough drags to change it right?

I rmeember watching other do the same thing after, loads of people was walking near that spot and we was all hoping they would get stuck too LOL.

I rmeember this story when it happened. More stupid people doing stupid things.

I rmeember, small pizzas are from C$57 to maybe C$70.

I rmeember that the garbage truck was moving back and forth (it was from my trip visuals). I started getting very crazy thoughts, about this "hell."

I rmeember reading someone saying the GS could have had a V8 in there w/like 400+ hp.

I rmeember when Assy said ETMJ sounded like me once, now he does too. It's just proof that The Mouses mind control experiment is working.

I rmeember reading on Sulus' PR thread that he was in the 15's for XC so I am just making an educated guess.

I rmeember Halloween one year when I was aa dog from 101 dolmations.

I rmeember I used to spend every arvo with u in yr 8 hehehe! But but u left and u had to study. Thanks fro being there for me and stuff.

I rmeember a certain phrase from Gundam Wing "He runs, he hides, but he never lie."

I rmeember using it in userspace (god knows why) but I dont have the code anymore it was a hex value in inline ASM.

I rmeember I just couldn't warm to Slobo. I see this was in Workers World. How sad.

I rmeember the first CD's I ever bought. Kavana--MFEO and Backstreet Boys--Everybody.... LOL!! First tape I ever bought I have no idea.

I rmeember, back when I was level 25, I ganked a low-level NPC, thus turning my PvP flag on. A level ?? and a level 27 player came out to find me.

I rmeember in the 80s it was friggin' bad. It just wasn't as noticable because of the goal scoring onslaught. Win by having a lot of tough guys.

I rmeember the day where you had to stay up until 11:30 to watch any hockey highlights, and when you did, it was usually a game or two.

I rmeember playing this 3D game where you'd drive around shooting red 3D ships and orange pyramids, the screen was mostly black, and you went around collecting forums.

I rmeember more than a few CTF games where I'd be running like their's no tomorrow, do a 180 spin in the air and run backwards firing the Ripper at the walls.

I rmeember hitting those damn F6 and F7 keys after every fire fight, re loading 20 times a mission, it was awful.

I rmeember my squally killed those dumbie things in one hit.

I rmeember something I said: "And in books the armor could too be dented by throwing a rod at it."

I rmeember when I watched the top 100 cartoons or something, the makers off The Lion King were like "We don't even know how it got so populer."

I rmeember having this conversation with someone in the GUild before whose name started with aG Orodreth V.

I rmeember some maps where I'd be riddling a guy.

I rmeember the pit. My father did a lot of shotting when I was young.

I rmeember the heyday of Sparticus. But again, I don't come on the GF much.

I rmeember seein u in her crazy girls pictures or whatever on aim, but yeah. thats how I know her.

I rmeember when soldgrin back as broox.com had scooter pictures--not dunk.

I rmeember it listing them, but then moving on to some HLA stuff, butthen again my memory sux, and finally, whats th z80 processor?

I rmeember it being very easy to transfer points with the big icon on the main page some months back.

I rmeember putting the blipboard under the desk for a while, though I dont remember why, or hwere I went afterwards.

I rmeember when evryone used to go on the chat, everyone being 10 people.

I rmeember you posted here like it was your job. So many ppd.

I rmeember why I stoped posting on my other name, this place is to dman confusing. You are the ones who are the ball lickers!

I rmeember the old days of the casting couch when men did the stinging.

I rmeember being kind of scred when wtaching it.

I rmeember who two brother's as 8 and ten year olds.

I rmeember when we couldn't get away from those.

I rmeember when me and my friend talked on messenger instead of to each other.

I rmeember the various places, the reason I remeber them.

Squirrels in My Attic

these goddam squirrels in my attic
are driving me bonkers
::scurry:: ::scurry:: ::scurry:: BAM!

if you are conducting
research into popular fruits
send a FREE squirrel greeting card

56. lasershow pshed up the soffit, what is
hardware cloth? plagiarism is a crime!
or believe they are pesky in another way

if you are noticing large carpenter ants
I will make friends with them before give I them
reason think I have please call the office

killing squirrels in your attic: fantastic!
we got a rat guy and he sd
we only hear the footsteps after the sun sets

quall amps to the max and out-grunge
find out more about fox urine
the cities wax eloquent about "The Singing Wilderness"

I have some flying squirrels in my attic and crawlspace
I have a squirrel or two in my attic
I'm hunting squirrels

it is important to figure out what you have living upstairs
if the squirrels in your attic turn out to be chickens
let's stay in touch

if you happen to be in my neighborhood
feel free to stop by and climb up on my roof
for a talk with the squirrels in my attic